I have a confession, even if it’s a fairly obvious one: the world scares me, so generally I try to avoid it, which in the end only makes me miss out on the good things that go along with the scary ones. I’ve been trying to only let myself say yes to opportunities when they arise, so that my fears don’t keep me from accomplishing things. Like speaking at the pain summit for instance – the thought of doing a speech for an important cause in front of that many people, across the country, absolutely terrified me and I really didn’t want to. But, I knew that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and that if I said no it would be a mistake and that I would probably really regret it one day, not to mention it was important to me to contribute to that cause if I could.
My point being, I was asked to illustrate a children’s book. A big job, and I’ve never done anything with color before. But, I said yes because I knew that if I took the easy way out and said no that I’d only end up regretting it later on. Besides, I want to do something with my art, to make some sort of living off of it, even if it’s only a meager one, because it allows me to stick to my own schedule while doing something that I truly love – perfect for someone in my pain situation.
I haven’t started yet, I’m still waiting for my color materials to come in and finishing up a tattoo for someone else. I’m a bit afraid that I’m in over my head with this one but it’s probably the anxiety talking. Cartoon style drawings aren’t really my thing, but I’m a fast learner and I think that I have a good understand of art and drawing so I think it’ll be fairly easy once I get the hang of it.
Apart from the anxiety I’m actually really excited. This is the first real drawing job that I’ve ever had. I mean, I’ve sold a couple of them here and there before but I’ve never had someone seek me out and ask me to do a big job for them. It makes me happy to think that some of my work will be in an actual book that people can go out and buy.
All in all, this is a good thing, an early Christmas present of sort and I’m really grateful for the opportunity! I’ve been talking about wanting to buy a large pack of prismacolor markers so that I can get into doing colored drawings but I couldn’t afford them. But now that I need them in order to do the illustrations they pay for themselves and it works out.