Happy birthday B!

Happy birthday to my little B who just turned 6 on Wednesday. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing up!

B has been my little buddy since the day that she was born. I absolutely love babies and kids but until her we never really had any in the family when I got older. We’ve always been very close and I love her to pieces. It’s hard because I don’t see her nearly as much as I want to or wish that I could – largely thanks to the pain and exhaustion. Sometimes I worry that she’s going to think that it’s because I don’t want to or don’t love her as much anymore. It makes me sad when I have to tell her that I can’t play because I’m sick or that I can’t pick her up because of my heart.

MeNB1

When B was younger (1.5, 2) and I’d go see her she would cling to me as if it were for dear life, like she hadn’t seen me for weeks – even if it had only been a day or two. She would just sit limply in my arms, patting my back and whimpering like she was so afraid to let me go again. She was born the same year that the pain started, a bright spot in an otherwise often unbearably dark world.

Now, all of a sudden, she’s a rambunctious, headstrong 6 year old who’s going to school and growing like a weed. Things change so fast! But not everything; she still has more energy than anyone I’ve ever met, she still has her tell-tale quirks that make her the girl that I know and love and best of all, she’s still my little buddy.

So, happy birthday hun! I love you to the moon and back.

The dreaded birthday.

Another year older now. If only Neverland truly existed, I’d tell Marfan Syndrome and chronic pain to kick rocks while I go live there. Although, Peter Pan always did give me the creeps.