Sometimes life can be so unbearably unfair. I look at the people around me – be it family members or cyber friends – and I see so much pain and illness. It breaks my heart to see so many incredible people who’s lives have been forever altered so drastically by things like MS, Fibromyalgia, Parkinson’s, strokes, cancer, and tissue disorders. How can there be such a high rate of chronic pain and illness? How can so many things go so terribly wrong with the human body? I so desperately wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave and make everyone’s pain go away. I wish they could have their normal lives back and be able to experience what it feels like to live without pain for a day again. It’s such a sickening feeling; to watch the people that you care about suffering and not be able to take it away. And, it makes me sad to know that’s the same terrible, helpless feeling that my mom gets not being able to take my pain away.
I would do anything to give my mom her life back. I’ve dreamt for years of a day when she would wake up in the morning happy, rested and pain-free. And now, worse than that, she has to cope with having a daughter who is physically falling apart and unable to care for herself the way a healthy 19 year old can. It’s a lot to handle, more than anyone should have to. There’s so much uncertainty and with it comes a constant uneasiness – a fear of what might happen next. I know one thing’s for sure; we’re a team and without her I can’t imagine how I’d cope with this life.
To all those in my life – cyber or otherwise – who’re in pain; you are always in my thoughts. I’m sorry you’ve been dealt such a difficult hand in life and I wish that I could make it all better. I’ve learnt so much about life and perseverance from all of you. You’ve all not only taught me more about myself and how to better handle my own situation but you’ve also opened my eyes to the many faces behind pain. You teach me things that even first hand experience in the matter can’t. I hope you know that I’m here for you. I’m here with you.
Thank you and much love.