Time To Re-evaluate

For anyone who has personally had to deal with or who has a child with a ‘disability’ or ‘illness’ of any kind you well know the impact that it can have on what you had planned for your future.

Not only can it affect what you planned to do, but it also changes who you planned to be. Because no one plans to face the challenges these changes bring. It’s almost like a death in some way, the passing of this person that you had envisioned one day becoming. Now you need to be an entirely new person, the kind that can’t do everything everyone else can, the one who needs to remember medications, doctor’s appointments and to ‘take it slow’.

I hadn’t yet figured out exactly what I wanted to be. I had high hopes of college basketball, or art scholarships. Realistic or not it felt nice to dream. Now I have ‘secondary hopes’. Things I hadn’t considered doing until my options were limited. I strongly believe in whoever said that in order to be happy you need to do what you love. I love art, I love writing, and I love helping people. So with a little bit of creativity within those things maybe there will be something perfect for me, disabilities or not, chronic pain or not. I hope so. One of the members of my pain management team suggested that I’d make a good art therapist. Teaching kids to cope through art. I loved the idea, and it sounded perfect for me. But how am I going to sit in an office day after day? I’m not. 

Eventually we’ll all end up facing obstacles in life. Some may be bigger than others but I suppose it’s all in what you do to overcome them that really counts. So, I’m still working on that part.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” -Anatole France

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